What Is A Cupid? And Why Is It Shooting At Me?
by hungrywhovianpotterhead
Summary: The World Without Magic can be a confusing place. Especially when it comes to holidays. That's what Killian Jones discovers when the season of love sweeps through Storybrooke, and he has to figure out how to celebrate it with Emma. With the help of the very man that he thought would never help. Prince Charming himself. David Nolan.


**A/N so I have decided to continue with my Killian Jones Misunderstanding World Without Magic Holidays with Valentines Day. I decided to write this on a whim. Inspiration strikes at the best times I find, I only hope this turned out good. This contains slight mention of Outlaw Queen. Friend Captain Charming and loads of Captain Swan.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time. Or any of the characters.**

 **Please review dearies.**

 **~~~~~~~Valentine~~~~~~~~~~**

Summary: Killian is confused by Valentine's Day. David takes it upon himself to teach Killian how to be a Valentine.

Killian was confused. He had just gotten done learning about one of these strange holidays. Christmas was actually easy to understand compared to this one. All around him, things were shaped like cartoon hearts, and pictures of babies with bows and arrows were scattered around the town.

One thing was clear. Killian Jones, did not, understand Valentine's Day.

He knew it was supposedly the lover's holiday. He just didn't know what he was supposed to do about it.

So instead he sat with Robin, at the Rabbit Hole, drinking a glass of rum. "I don't know what to do mate." Killian grumped, taking a swig. "I mean, I know that this is important. But I just don't know what to do. I mean, what the hell is a bloody cupid anyway?"

Robin nodded, "I hear you mate. And Why is it bloody shooting arrows at us?"

The two men were at a sever disadvantage, that was for sure. Both of them were born in the Enchanted Forest, and were left behind in the curse. Of course this meant neither had any knowledge of the way the world without magic worked.

"I don't even know what kind of chocolate Regina likes." Robin grumbled. "From what I've gathered, I hear that's a customary gift."

"Aye, at least I know what Emma enjoys with her sweets. She truly does love any kind of chocolate. And powdered sugar…" he smiled softly, thinking of their powdered sugar adventure at Christmas.

Robin looked confused, then shook his head, "Nevermind. I don't think I want to know."

Killian waggled his eyebrows at his friend.

Robin rolled his eyes, "Shut up."

A clearing throat behind them, had both men turning. Killian was shocked to find David looking down at them. This wasn't really the sort of place the prince would frequent.

"Hello Dave." Killian greeted.

Robin tipped his glass in invitation, "David."

David pulled out a chair, and sat down, "I've heard you tow have some Valentine's trouble. I would like to help."

Killian raised an eyebrow at the man.

David chuckled at the look, "Hey, now I know it sounds weird, but trust me. You'll want it. Women place way too much on these holidays."

"But helping me?" Killian asked.

David shrugged, "Emma deserves a happy Valentine's Day. Something tells me she hasn't had one of those in a very long time. I don't want you to end up accidentally screwing it up."

Killian nodded, "Then where do we start?"

David, took his drink from a waitress, "Well, we should start, by you two telling me what their favorite flowers are."

Killian didn't hesitate, "Middlemist." He shot out quickly, he noticed the small patch of them planted in Emma's flower garden outside of their home, once they returned from Camelot. He figured she must have brought them with her.

"Blood red carnation." Robin informed them.

David smiled, sitting back, "Then let's get started."

~~Valentine~~

Standing in the middle of Game of Thornes, David was giving Killian an exasperated look, "Middlemist Red? Really? That is the world's rarest flower Jones!"

Killian shrugged palm and hook up, "How the bloody hell was I supposed to know? There was a whole bloody field of them in Camelot!" he defended.

David sighed, "Of course my daughter would like the rarest flower in the world." He grumbled.

Killian gave him a I know look.

"There is always a dark pink rose, that almost looks like a Middlemist Red." Mr. French offered.

Killian gestured to the man, "He has one that looks like it!" he said.

David rolled his eyes, "That's not how this works Killian."

"Emma would understand!" He tried. "I mean, she has to know her flowers are impossible for someone without magic!"

Robin looked up from where he was finishing ordering a selection of flowers for Regina. "That's it! We can ask Regina to summon up a dozen for you mate!"

David raised a brow at the men, "It could work."

~~Valentine~~

"You want me to do what?" Regina asked, giving Killian a look across from her desk.

"Summon a dozen Middlemist flowers." He repeated.

She quirked a brow, "And why?"

Killian fidgeted a little, "They're Emma's favorite flower." He told her, "And I wanted to get her some for Valentine's Day."

Regina smirked, "Never saw you as the cupid arrows kind of guy."

Killian looked confused, "Again with the cupid… what the hell is a cupid? And why is it shooting arrows at me?"

Regina laughed, "It's a symbol of love. Little angels with bows and arrows, if you're hit with one of their arrows, you fall in love." She explained.

"Makes no sense to me." He said.

"But mermaids, Dark One's, and devil teens do?" Regina joked.

~~Valentine~~

"Alright." Killian said, stepping out of the mayor's office, "Flowers are done."

David smirked, "Next, is chocolate."

Killian gave Robin the same look as earlier, "I think I won't be the one you have issues with this one mate."

Robin glared, "What? Regina tends to lean more towards apples than chocolate!"

"Wherein you put sugar on it, Emma will eat it." Killian supplied happily.

"Okay, well, let's just go to the chocolate shop. You will not be buying one of them generic hearts at a drug store." David told them. "These are the women you love. They deserve more than a heart shaped box of chocolates from Sneezy's pharmacy."

"Got it." Killian and Robin responded.

~~Valentine~~

Another hour and both men leave the candy store, with heart shaped boxes of candy.

"Alright." Killian started, "Is that it?"

David laughed, "Oh lord no. Now it's time for the dinner. Can either of you cook?"

Robin snorted, "I'm a thief not a chef."

Killian shrugged, "I dabbled."

David looked surprised. "Really?"

"Don't look so shocked." The pirate scoffed.

The prince shrugged, "Never saw you as the kitchen type."

"There's quite a bit you don't know about me mate. Someone had to do the cooking in Neverland. You don't think I would trust Smee with that, do you?" Killian questioned.

David shrugged, "Well then. You have two choices. You can make your girl's dinner, or take them out. It's up to you." He put his hands into his pocket. "Now what'll it be?"

Killian grinned, "I would never shy at the chance to display my expertise."

Robin chuckled, "I would rather not accidentally give Regina food poisoning."

David nodded, "Well then, I think that only leaves the things I should not have any part in." He leveled a look on Killian, "And I don't want to hear about."

Killian grinned at the Prince, "And you won't mate."

"Now you boys go and have a fun Valentine's Day. And Killian. Not too fun. She is my little girl."

The Pirate saluted. The Thief waved, and the Prince nodded, before turning and leaving them alone.

~~Valentine~~

As Valentine's Day dawns, Killian wakes his fiancé with a kiss and breakfast in bed.

"mmmmhh… what's the occasion?" Emma mumbled into his lips, her arms coming up around his shoulders.

Killian grinned, his blue eyes twinkling, "It's Valentine's Day, luv." He said, "I hear it is quite the occasion."

She pulled him down for another kiss, almost making him fall into the bed with her, "Mmm… didn't know they had that in the enchanted forest. Or Neverland."

He chuckled, "They don't. But I admit, I did have some help." He said, pulling back, earning a pout from Emma.

The disappointment was quickly replaced as he turned back to her. He was balancing a tray piled high with bacon and pancakes, and strawberries. Two cups of cocoa with the intoxicating scent of cinnamon wafting out of them.

"I also made breakfast."

Emma's eyes went wide, "I would say so." She said, scooting upright in the bed, and made room for him to place the tray. She caught the mugs as he climbed onto the bed with her, so they didn't spill. "Looks delicious." She told her rugged pirate.

"I hope it is to your liking darling." He said, as he snagged a strawberry from the tray, and fed it to her.

Emma's eyes fell closed as she bit into the sweet berry, "Mmmm… It's official. Best Valentine's ever." She said softly, her green eyes drifting open and meeting his blue ones.

"Ah, but we've only just begun darling. We have a full day of romance ahead of us." He assured.

"But first, I am starved." Emma told him, and turned to the food.

Killian chuckled, "If I knew the way to your heart was through your stomach I would've started bringing you breakfast much sooner."

"Shut up." She said good naturedly nudging him with her shoulder. "And eat, or I will eat all of this, and will be unable to eat anything else for the rest of the day."

"Well, I can't have that. Can I?" Killian said obliging, and joining his fiancé in the extravagant breakfast.

~~Valentine~~

After breakfast, Killian treated Emma to a one handed massage, and escalated from there.

Thanks to that, it was well after noon before the couple pulled themselves from their bed, and dressed comfortably. Killian was taking them sailing.

Emma was very pleasantly surprised by all of it. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect to find Killian planning an entire day filled with activities traditional for Valentine's. Well, as traditional as you can get with Captain Hook, sailing out of the harbor of a town filled with story book characters on the Jolly Roger.

First she had come down after taking a shower, and Killian had presented her with a large box of all her favorite candies, and a bouquet of a dozen middlemist reds. She wasn't entirely sure how he managed that. Seeing as even though they were her favorite, they were also extremely rare.

Then took her to the docks, with a basket packed with a lunch they would enjoy at sea.

It turned out to be a magical day. Nothing but them, the salty sea air, the gentle sounds of water lapping against the sides of the ship, and the gentle sway of the Jolly as it bobbed.

Once they were out on the waters and Killian dropped the anchor. Emma and him curled up at the bow under a piles of blankets, enjoying their dinner.

"You really outdid yourself Killian." Emma murmured from where she rested, nestled into his chest.

Killian grinned, "What can I say, I got hit with a cupid's arrow." He responded with a low chuckle.

Emma smirked, "You know, I never really got the whole Cupid's arrow thing. Why do they have to shoot you with love?"

"I completely agree." Killian said, resting his cheek on her forehead.

They sit quietly for a moment. Before Emma sat up. Untangling herself from the blanket, and going to the bag she brought with her.

"Swan? What are you doing?" Killian asked softly.

Emma gave him a nervous grin. "I have a surprise for you too. You're not the only one that was preparing something for tonight."

Killian raised a brow, "Oh?"

Emma grinned, and came over to him. She had a small box in her hand. No larger than a book. She dropped down beside him on the blankets, and handed it to him.

Killian took it carefully, and turned it over a couple of times. It was wrapped in paper covered in hearts.

Emma laughed, "Open it!"

Killian nodded, and with his hook tore the paper, opened the box, and stared. Inside was a small black onesie, that said, "I'm a little pirate like my daddy" then had a picture of a pirate ship on it. He picked it up, and underneath there was a small baggie with a little white stick with two pink lines on it.

"Swan?" he asked softly, glancing at her.

Emma smiled softly, "Yes Killian?"

"What does this mean?"

Emma turned, and took his hand in hers, and placed the other on his cheek, "It means." She started, glancing down, "It means, you're going to be a daddy." She looked up and met his eyes. She was surprised to find them filled with tears. "Are you happy?" She asked, an insecure look crossing her features.

Killian said nothing, just released her hand, and grabbed her in a huge hug, "Happy?" he said in disbelief, "Swan, I'm ecstatic!" he pulled back and crushed her lips to his, "We're going to be parents!"

Emma laughed, tears in her own eyes, "We're going to be parents."

"I am more than happy. I'm thrilled."

Emma grinned again, "Happy Valentine's Pirate."

"Happy Valentine's Swan."

The two met with another kiss.

 **~~~~~~~~~Valentine~~~~~~~~~~**

 **please review dearies.**


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